Yesterday, I planted my fingers on my keyboard and started to type the number 13 in preparation for my next thankful post. As I reached for the mouse to position my cursor, I felt a slight hesitation. It was a fear that came over me that I didn't see or know was coming. It was a little voice in the back of my head that said, "You're rushing this month right on to the end just because it's your birthday. You have no idea what's on the other side of 39." That voice is something I call fear.
Here's where I get personal again and let down another guard. Fear has trapped me most of my life. Fear of rejection. Fear of what people will say about me just by walking into a room. Fear of what's to come. I think that's the worst type of fear. Fear of the future. I almost didn't start this blog for fear of what people would say about me; or fear that my writing wouldn't be good enough.
I almost didn't do a post yesterday or tonight because the "fear" inside me suggested that I stop the countdown because of what could be down the road. I had to go back to why I started the blog in the first place. I wanted to inspire and share my life with others. It's because I am turning 39 years old that I'm making my life an open book.
What I want most out of life is for God to use me to change someone else's life. I believe I'm doing that through this blog and my corny, goofy writing style.
The scripture that helps me the most concerning fear is Matthew 8:26 when Jesus and His disciples went onto a ship. There was a storm raging in the sea. Jesus' disciples became afraid and went to awake Jesus in the bottom of the ship. He said to the disciples:
Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.
Because of this scripture, I know God has everything under control. Whatever comes out of this blog will be because I trusted Him and let go of my fears. Therefore, I'm thankful for courage and faith that outweigh my fears. I know
as long as I'm seeking God's guidance, He will lead me down the right path.
I'm going to continue doing the countdown and just be myself. Sometimes silly. Sometimes serious. And hopefully, sometimes inspiring.
Wow....you are an inspiration to many. I absolutely love your blog, and yes, fear has trapped so many of us for much too long. But today/tonight is the day/night to walk fear out of the door. It has stopped so many of us from living the best life ever, but thank God we know that God has not given us the spirit of fear. I thank God that I have I wear that scripture as a piece of jewerly. I will not allow the enemy to stop me anymore. Keep doing what you do. I am so glad to be able to see and read your blogs, but I am most honored to call you friend. Keep blessing the people of God; we ALL need to hear this.....Much love
ReplyDeleteThanks for the inspiration!...I'm reminding myself that fear can't live here...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (phil 4:13)
ReplyDeletetoday i finally had a chance to read no 13 and what a blessing to hear from you that you have conquored your enemy and mine. i have always said that behind that shy exterior lay the fire of a tiger and i must say i was right, keep on listening to that still small voice that tells you that God is in control .love you ma
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