Making Time For Childhood Games

     One of the proudest moment in my life can be summed up in two words. Go Fish! It was just one of the many games I taught my 8-year-old son to play one night after I persuaded him to put down his Nintendo DS for two seconds.
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     “You’ll love this game,” I told him. He cut me an evil eye never missing a beat on the gadget in his hand and said, “I don’t believe you.” I told him I wouldn’t force him to play with his old, boring mom if he didn’t want to. I then proceeded to play a game of Go Fish by myself. Either I made it so much fun that he couldn’t stand it or he felt sorry for me.

     "All right, so how do you play?” he asked. I explained the game and we played twice before he gave up and went back to his video game. I thought I would try to win over my 13-year-old daughter next, but she gave me a look that said, “Don’t even think about it.”

     Of course, it was all in fun. But what they didn’t understand is that this is what I did for entertainment when I was their age. Card games and simple activities like Jacks kept me and my oldest sister busy for hours. It taught us about winning and losing, sharing and friendship.

     Those games have long since taken a back seat to high tech video games, cell phones and computers. Kids these days wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if it didn’t involve a TV, computer monitor or some handheld device. Luckily for me and my husband, we have pretty active kids who enjoy a balance of outdoor play and video games. I think I forced the issue of playing a game of cards because I wanted them to know how important it was to me.  

     I was never a good card player. I loved all the easy little games you could play with a deck of cards. Match and I Declare War were my favorites. I played by myself night after night while the kids did their homework or watched their favorite TV show. 

     One night I made them turn off the TV and sit on the floor with me to play a game of Match. It was like pulling teeth just to get them to help spread the cards out face-down on the living room floor. It didn’t help either that once we started playing I was flipping over matching cards left and right, and doing my victory dance each time. My daughter reacted in her normal sarcastic way. “Go on, Mom. Teach your kids a lesson by winning the game you’re making us play,” she said. 

     I did continue to get match after match and even won the game.  I could deal with my daughter's sarcasm, but it was the reaction my son had that made me rethink things a little. He was getting frustrated, and he didn’t understand why he had only made two matches the whole game. I didn’t want to turn him away from the game. The lesson I wanted he and his sister to learn was that there are other ways to entertain themselves without gluing their eyes to the latest high-tech gadget. 

     Just in that instance, I realized I had to show my son better sportsmanship and also teach him that it’s ok to lose. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with him. He just needed some practice. The second game went a little different. I allowed my daughter to sit this one out. No complaints from her, of course.
      This time I didn’t put so much emphasis on celebrating every time I got a match; and when I saw him getting frustrated when he wasn’t getting matches, I would tell him to think of it in terms of playing a video game for the first time.   

     I looked at him and asked,  “When you played Need for Speed the first time, did you come in first place?” In a very slow and sad reply he said, “No, and I know what you’re going to say.” 
   I put my collection of cards down beside me and replied,  "I know you do, but I'm going to say it anyway. It's was okay to lose.  Everybody loses at something at some point in their life.  You just have to learn from your mistakes and keep going.  Eventually, you will succeed."  

     I think I got my point across when I ended the little lesson by asking, "Now, isn’t that the way it worked with your video game?” He nodded his head and reached down to pull his next two cards. I guess those video games are good for something. 

     Before long, he was getting more matches than me, and winning game after game. I became the sore loser. I stopped playing and made him get ready for bed. What can I say? He was beating me at my own game! But I think he got the point I was trying to make. When he was winning, I didn’t over react to being the loser, because eventually I would win again. That was the important lesson that night.

     I was a happy mom that night. I taught my son a game I loved, and I also taught him something that will stick with him for the rest of his life. He loved playing my favorite card games so much that for a while, we had to play every night before he went to bed. He would even schedule time after taking his bath to play at least two games of Match or I Declare War. Now, if I could only get him to do the same with reading.